Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
