how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
