some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize