i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
