are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
sarcasm needs its own font
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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