Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
