I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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