I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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