I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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