I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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