Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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