I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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