What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
