I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
