i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
