your thong is hanging out like whoa
i don't like sucking hair
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
