i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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