Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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