sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
