it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
