You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
