do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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