So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
50% drunk capacity currently
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
