After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
