hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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