how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
