What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
