How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
