She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
