we're chasing vodka with high fives
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
