I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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