the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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