you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
