Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
