Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
