let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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