Umm I'm too high to move.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
