True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
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Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We're too hungover to prance.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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