i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Brb crying the tears of my youth
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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