worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
