I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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