tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
being pregnant is like rehab
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
