They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
