I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and she was petting her beer can
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
