I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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