Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
