My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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