Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
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corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed