end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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