On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
