She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
