I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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