oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
