Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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