So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize