two words...techno handjob
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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