we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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