I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
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I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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