Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
