Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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