just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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