Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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