I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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