Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't put those talents on a resume
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
